I did a big mistakes again

I want to say:'sorry'.I really not a good friend.I always tell myself that i must think twice before i take the action.But,i did a big mistakes again todays.Starting from secondary school,i hate myself.I keep asking myself :'why?Why i am a useless person?Anything i do is totally wrong'.I should say nothing i have done is correct or brings benefit to people surrounding me.I really have tried my best to be a kind and good person but what i have done didn't change anything but make situation become worsen only.Sometimes i hope i am a very stupid person and hence make ends met in the future by contribute my physical energy to earn money.At least,for me,they are pure and kind people.They earn money and lead their lives by contributing their energy.And me ,i am a useless person.Even though my parents have spend a lot of money for me,they hope i can be a useful person in the future.They don't even know actually their daughter is a useless and stupid person.'Sorry ,mom,dad, and friends.'